Splatty Tomato: Chapter 2
by Walter Bryan Cranston White
Summary: Mr Garrison returns to South Park after another crazy incident and it's up to The Losers to stop him


The White House.

Caitlyn walked into the office of The President.

Caitlyn: Garrison! Garrison! Apparently- Garrison?

Mr Garrison wasn't in his office.

Caitlyn walked to his desk to see if there was a clue.

Caitlyn found a note left by Garrison.

"Caitlyn. I saw something that made me a little insane. When you turn on this laptop you will find out why I'm missing"

Caitlyn scrunched up the note and turned on the laptop.

Caitlyn: Oh he can't be fucking serious.

South Park.

Testaburger residence.

Wendy was sleeping when all of a sudden she woke up and saw Mr Garrison on the front of her bed.

Wendy screamed.

Mr Garrison: He can't run for President! He can't!

Wendy: Who?!

Mr Garrison: The man who runs! The man who runs! The man who runs!

Wendy screamed again.

Wendy's parents burst in.

Deborah: Wendy is everything alright?

Sean: You sound like you saw the President.

Wendy: I did!

Sean: Wendy, the President is in Washington.

Deborah: Maybe not.

They see a red balloon with "Make America Great Again" written on it.

South Park Elementary.

Stan was at his locker getting some of things, Bebe approached him.

Bebe: Hey Stan.

Stan: What is it Bebe?

Bebe: Could you talk to Wendy? She's acting paranoid.

Stan: Yeah. I thought there might've been something wrong with her, she kept sending me these bizarre texts.

Stan showed Bebe the texts and they kept saying "The man who runs!"

Bebe: Yeah. She's been repeating it during basketball practice. And it's driving the girls crazy.

Stan: Where is she now?

Bebe: She's outside the changing rooms.

Stan walked to the changing rooms to check on Wendy.

Wendy was outside the changing room sitting and rocking back and forth and had her hands wrapped around her knees.

Stan walked up to Wendy.

Stan: Hey Wendy. Are you ok?

Wendy just stared at Stan.

Stan: Wendy I really need you to talk to me, are you ok?

Wendy still didn't reply.

Stan: Wendy, I'm your boyfriend. I'm here for you.

Stan gave Wendy an encouraging smile.

Wendy: The President.

Stan: What about him?

Wendy: He's in South Park.

Stan: He's back?

Wendy: Yeah. Oh Stan, I'm scared. He's going mad again. He's going mad about a man who runs and apparently that man is wanting to run for President. I don't know what he's gonna do to us. I'm absolutely terrified.

Stan hugged Wendy.

Stan: Wendy. Wendy, it's ok. It's ok. It's ok. I'm here. I'm here.

Wendy started crying.

Wendy: I don't know what's gonna happen. Stan I'm scared.

Stan: I know you're scared, but I'm here.

Broflovski residence.

Kyle was texting when he heard somebody hitting their head on the wall.

Kyle went to investigate the noise and entered Ike's room and saw that Ike was hitting his head on the wall.

Ike: He'll run too. He'll run too. He'll run too. He'll run too.

Kyle: Ike?

Ike looked at Kyle.

Ike: He'll run too. He'll run too. He'll run too. He'll run too.

Kyle just watched as Ike just continued to repeat the words and saw The President hanging from the window.

Mr Garrison: He'll run too!

Kyle screamed.

Kyle grabbed Ike and took him out of the room.

Kyle: Ike are you ok?

Ike: The President said, "He'll run too"

Kyle: Who'll run?

Cartman residence.

Cartman was watching a YouTube live stream.

_Logan Paul: Hey wassup. My name's Logan Paul and I'm in South Park. Hoping to catch a glimpse of the mysterious, Mysterion. Because I really need attention. Now we're gonna walk into this forest._

Cartman: I wonder if they'll be any dead bodies?

_Logan Paul: Alright, we're passing trees and a dead animal. I'm gonna throw a throwing star at the body._

_Logan threw a throwing star._

Cartman: Aww sick dude!

_Logan Paul: Now we're going deeper into the forrest. Hold on I see something. It has blonde hair, no wait it's a blonde wig. And an orange face. Wait what's The President doing in a small mountain town? Oh no. He's coming right towards- AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!_

The screen went black.

_Mr Garrison: He'll run too._

Cartman: Lame.

Downtown South Park.

Wendy was sitting on the sidewalk looking disturbed with Stan by her side.

Stan: It's ok. He's not gonna hurt you.

Craig and Tweek approach them.

Craig: What's wrong with her?

Wendy: He's here.

Tweek: Who?

Stan: The President.

Tweek: The President!

Craig: He can't be here!

Wendy grabbed Craig by the collar.

Wendy: He is here! And the man who runs wants to run for President!

Craig: Who wants to run for President?

Stan grabbed Wendy and held her.

Stan: Wendy. Wendy. Wendy, calm down. Please.

Token: What's going on?

Craig: Token. The President-

Token: Is back.

Stan: How do you know?

Token: I saw Logan Paul's live stream. The President-

Heidi: Attacked him. I was watching it-

Kenny: At home. I saw the video too. It's strange how this all reminds me of-

Cartman: Of It. I saw that video too. Hold on I just got a text from-

Tweek: From Kyle. He wants us to meet at-

Craig: City Wok. He wants us to meet at-

Heidi: City Wok.

Stan: Are we just gonna continue interrupting each other's sentences?

Cartman: Come on Losers. Let's go. You coming Stan?

Stan: I can't. With Wendy acting like this, I just have to stay with her.

But Wendy wasn't there.

Stan: Wendy? Where did she go?

Craig: And I thought Cartman was a bad boyfriend.

Cartman: Ay!

The White House.

Caitlyn: Where the fuck is he!?

Secretary: Um, Caitlyn.

Caitlyn: What is it?

Secretary: Your stepson-in-law is here.

Caitlyn: Aww shit! Send him in.

Kanye West entered the Oval Office.

Kanye: What the fuck is this?!

Caitlyn: Why the fuck are you yelling at me Kanye?

Kanye: I'm supposed to run for President, not that three time Academy Award nominee.

Caitlyn: What the fuck do you want me to do about it?

Kanye: Tell him to not run for President.

Caitlyn: Are you fucking serious Kanye? And I doubt this country is stupid enough to allow him to run for President.

Kanye: But that's the problem everybody treated him like a joke before, but now they're showing absolute respect for him. I am far more respected than him, I am a lyrical genius.

Caitlyn: But that's not actually him. He's far too young and a perfect lookalike.

Kanye: He is young. I don't care that he is 57 years old. He is still young.

Caitlyn: I doubt that video of Tom Cruise saying he wants to run for President is real.

Kanye: No. That is Tom Cruise! I am better than him! He will not run for President and I won't allow him to run!

Kanye left the office.

Caitlyn: I can't believe some people think that video's real.

Back at South Park.

City Wok.

Cartman, Heidi, Craig, Tweek, Kenny and Token entered the restaurant.

Kyle: Hey guys. So it's come to this. We reunite to stop The President again.

Kenny: I wasn't there the last time.

Token: Neither was I.

The gang took their seats.

Tweek: What's The President doing back in South Park?

Kyle: He's gone crazy again and he's driving this town crazy. Ike was hitting his head on the wall and kept saying, "He'll run too"

Heidi: That's what Wendy had been saying also.

Token: What do they mean by "He'll run too"?

Craig: I think I have an answer.

Kenny: What is it?

Craig: Couple of weeks ago, some Tom Cruise lookalike posted a video of himself as Tom Cruise saying he wants to run for President.

Craig shows them the video.

Kyle: Holy shit dude! That does look like him.

Mr Kim approached the table.

Mr Kim: Tom Cruise wants to run for President? He got my vote.

Cartman: Is he really that fucking stupid?!

Heidi: I mean it is a perfect lookalike.

Tweek: Aahhhh! What if it is true?! What if Tom Cruise wants to run for President?! Aaahhh!

Craig: Again, it's not real Tweek.

Mr Kim: What the fuck?! Somebody reft eyebarr outside my Shitty Wok.

Mr Kim showed them the eyeball.

Tweek screamed.

Craig: Why are you showing it us?

They notice Logan Paul walking past.

Mr Kim: Hey is that Rogan Paul?

Kyle: Holy shit! That is Logan Paul.

Logan Paul pressed his face up against the window, he had his eyes closed.

Kenny: Why does he have his eyes closed?

Logan opened them and they discovered that they were missing.

Tweek screamed.

Logan Paul: He'll run too. He'll run too. He'll run too.

Kyle: We have to find the President. Get home and grab your weapons.

They leave the City Wok.

Mr Kim: Hey you not pay for your Shitty food!

Meanwhile.

Stan was looking for Wendy.

Stan: Wendy? Wendy? Wendy?

Mr Garrison: Where are you going? You seem like a nice boy who could vote. Or not.

Mr Garrison stood across the street holding a bunch of red balloons that say "Make America Great Again".

Stan: Garrison, what have you done-

Mr Garrison: To Wendy? Oh, she's perfectly fine.

Mr Garrison had her beret in his hand.

Stan: Did you hurt her?!

Mr Garrison: I don't know. I approached her and she fell off the curb and her beret fell off her head. And than she ran. She ran away, just like the man who runs.

Stan ran to find Wendy.

Stan: Wendy?!

As Stan ran he kept hearing Mr Garrison repeating "He'll run too".

Stan: Wendy?!

Stan than notices Wendy rocking back and forth beside a fence.

Stan: Wendy!

Stan sat beside Wendy.

Stan: Wendy, don't do that again! You scared me!

Wendy: He'll run too.

Stan: Wendy, who will run. Tell me.

Wendy: He'll run too. He'll run too.

Stan: Wendy. I have no idea who you're talking about.

Wendy: The man who runs.

Stan hugged Wendy again.

Stan: Please Wendy. Tell me. I'm here.

Cruise manor.

Tom Cruise was reading the script of Mission Impossible 7 with a picture of L. Ron Hubbard sitting next to him.

Tom Cruise: And than I hang on the bottom of a helicopter whilst holding a midget. This sounds like my masterpiece Mr Hubbard.

Suddenly a knock on the door was heard.

Tom answered the door and Kanye stood there holding a baseball bat.

Tom Cruise: Kanye. What brings you here? Did you decide to convert to Scientology? I see you've got your bat ready.

Kanye started to beat up Tom.

Tom: Ow! Ow! Protect me Mr Hubbard. Protect me!

Kanye continued to beat up Tom.

Kanye: You will not run for President in 2020!

Tom Cruise: What are you talking about?

Kanye: You want to run for President. I saw your stupid video!

Tom Cruise: That's not true!

Kanye: I'm a genius and I know you are lying! So stop lying and be honest!

Tom Cruise: I am! That was just a perfect lookalike!

Kanye: Bullshit Tommy!

Kanye continued to beat up Tom Cruise.

Meanwhile.

The Losers were in the forest looking for The President, with Survivor's Burning Heart playing in the background.

Kyle: This is the best song you can come up with?

Craig: It's an 80's song.

Cartman: Did anyone bring camping equipment? Because we might be here all night.

Heidi: Actually we have.

Tweek: What if we don't have any instructions?

Token: Got them right here.

Kyle: Can we change music please?

Craig: But I like this song.

Kyle: You know what?

Kyle grabs his phone and starts playing Eye of The Tiger by Survivor.

Token: Oh yeah. I like this song.

Tweek: Lets keep that on.

They hear the sound of rustling.

Kenny: Mr President?

They get their weapons out.

Cartman had a baseball bat, Kenny had an iron bar, Kyle had a crowbar, Craig had a switchblade, Token had brass knuckles, Heidi had a tennis racket and Tweek had a hand grenade.

Craig: Tweek, is that a hand grenade?

Tweek: Yeah.

Kenny: Where did you get it?

Tweek: In my parents basement.

They stared at the bush and a deer just came out.

Kyle: That's anti climatic.

Craig: Than something scary will pop out.

They stood for a while.

Token: Fuck it, let's keep moving.

But little did they know, somebody was watching them.

Back at the White House.

Caitlyn was on the phone.

Caitlyn: Boris, I know you want your country to have an economic crisis...What do you want the President to do about it?...Fuck you Boris. Theresa May was more competent than you.

Caitlyn hung up.

Kanye entered.

Caitlyn: What do you want now?

Kanye: I beaten the living crap out of Tom Cruise and he kept saying he isn't running for President.

Caitlyn: What did I tell you?

Kanye: So I captured him until he told the truth.

Kanye's goons entered the Oval Office with Tom Cruise tied up.

Caitlyn: Oh for fuck sake. Look Mr Cruise, I'm really sorry. My stepson-in-law is stupid.

Kanye: Tom. I'm a lyrical genius and I know you're lying.

Tom Cruise: I'm not lying.

Kanye: Than why does this man in the video look like you?

Tom Cruise: By the power of L. Ron Hubbard. I untie myself.

Tom Cruise untied himself and threw his chair at Kanye.

Tom ran into the only hiding place he could find, the closet.

Kanye: Tom, I want you to get out of the closet!

Tom Cruise: Never!

Caitlyn: See what you did Kanye?

Kanye: That wasn't me, because I'm a genius and Tom Cruise is an idiot.

Tom Cruise: But I'm a member of Scientology, so that makes me smarter.

Kanye: Music is smarter than religion, so that means I'm smarter. Get the fuck out of the closet!

Caitlyn: Where is R Kelly when you need him?

Testaburger residence.

Wendy was on her bed holding onto Stan.

Stan: Wendy. You're scaring me. Tell me what is The President talking about.

Wendy: I don't know. He kept saying "The man who runs"

Wendy tightened her grip on Stan.

Wendy: I'm scared Stan. I don't know what he's gonna do.

Stan held onto Wendy.

Stan: Wendy, I'm here. There's no need to be scared.

Wendy: I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be back.

Stan: Alright.

Wendy entered the bathroom, but it was different.

It was the interior of the White House.

Wendy: What the?

Wendy walked down the hallway and saw Barack Obama.

Wendy: Excuse me.

Barack Obama: What is it?

Wendy: Where am I?

Barack Obama: You're in the White House. He'll run too you know?

Wendy: Who?

Barack Obama: The man who runs. The President is in the Oval Office.

Wendy: Who is the man who runs?

Barack Obama: He'll run too. He'll run too.

As Obama repeated those words, his face started to melt and he turned into nothing but dust.

Wendy: What the?

Wendy than notices an arrow pointing to the Oval Office.

Wendy enters the Oval Office and sees Stan staring at The President.

Wendy tried to walk up to Stan, but was blocked by an invisible force field.

Wendy tried knocking on the force field.

Mr Garrison: Don't you want a balloon little boy? It's a lovely balloon.

Wendy: Leave him alone!

Wendy continued hitting the force field.

Wendy: Leave him alone!

Mr Garrison: Who will you vote little boy? Me? Or the man who runs?

Wendy: Leave him alone! Leave him alone!

Mr Garrison gave Wendy a very sinister grin.

Stan: I refuse to vote. It's just a giant douche and a turd sandwich.

Wendy: Stan! No! No!

Mr Garrison grabbed Stan and than bit his head off.

Wendy: No! No!

Wendy was in the bathroom screaming.

Wendy: No! No!

Stan walked in.

Stan: Wendy are you ok?

Wendy had tears in her eyes.

Wendy ran up to Stan and hugged him.

Wendy started crying.

Stan: What's wrong?

Wendy: Did The President get you?

Stan: No.

Wendy continued to hold onto Stan.

Wendy: Is he gonna get you?

Stan: I'll make sure he won't. I'm not going anywhere.

Wendy continued crying.

Stan: Although where are your parents?

City Hall.

The citizens of South Park are in the mayor's office complaining about the President.

Roger (Clyde's Dad): He is terrorising our children! And all you can do is just sit there!

Mayor McDaniels: Mr Donovan. I understand your concern.

Yates: And we are trying to get our best men on this. We already sent out two of South Park's finest hunters to find them.

Stephen: What about the Whites? They are aware of his return and will do anything to protect him.

Mr White: I am fully aware of his presence. But I'm not getting involved with defending him this time.

Stephen: Oh.

Gerald: But there's something else I hope you are fully aware of, my child is missing. And according to my other son, he's gone to look for the President along with his girlfriend Heidi Turner, Tweek, Craig Tucker, Eric Cartman, Token and Kenny McCormick.

Carol: What is my baby getting himself into?

Yates: Don't worry we will find them.

Yates whispered to detective Mitch Murphy.

Yates (Whispering): Could you cover for me? I'm too busy with Fortnite.

Mitch: Will do sir. Will do.

Sean: Well you better get him. Because he's caused some horrible psychological damage to my daughter.

Marvin Marsh: Don't you worry Ben, my stepson is one of the best hunters in South Park. He'll get Donald Trump.

Mayor McDaniels: Marvin, Donald Trump isn't President. It's Mr Garrison.

Marvin: Goddammit Simpsons. Why do they always have to tell me the opposite?

South Park forest.

The Losers had set up their tents to camp for the night.

**(A/N: I'm calling them Losers because let's face it, it's an IT parody we're just gonna call them The Losers at this point)**

Cartman was struggling to get his tent up.

Cartman: Goddammit!

Heidi: Need help Eric?

Cartman: Why would I want help from a girl?

Heidi: Because I know how to set up a tent.

Cartman: Like I said I don't want your help.

Heidi: Oh I see what's going on. You don't want my help because you still haven't forgiven me for saving your life.

Cartman: And stealing The Coon from me!

Kenny: Those two should just fuck at get this over with.

Token: Yeah.

Cartman: And also you broke up with me, making me suicidally depressed!

Heidi: How come every time I try to be friendly you have to do this?

Cartman: Because you're a cunt!

Heidi stood in shock after hearing Cartman say that word.

Heidi: Well Eric, you can fuck off!

Heidi ran away with tears in her eyes.

Kyle: Heidi?

Kyle looked at Cartman.

Kyle: What did you do fat ass?

Kyle ran after Heidi.

Craig: Hey Cartman. While you were busy arguing with Heidi, I finished setting up your tent.

Cartman: Fuck You Craig.

Craig knocked down Cartman's tent.

Craig: Your fat will keep you warm.

The White House.

Tom Cruise is still trapped in the closet.

Caitlyn knocked on the closet.

Caitlyn: Tom, Kanye has put down his weapons, so could you come out of the closet?

Tom Cruise: No! He still wants to kill me!

Caitlyn: That's not-

Kanye: That's damn straight!

Caitlyn: Oh for fuck sake Kanye!

Kanye: It's true that he wants to be President! It's absolutely fucking true!

Tom Cruise: It's not! I do not want to be President of the United States!

Caitlyn grabbed her phone.

Caitlyn: Kim, could you take care of your husband? He's being disrespectful again...He thought Tom Cruise was running for President after seeing some stupid video of a Tom Cruise lookalike saying he wants to run for President...Kim I am your step mother and you better listen to me!...Well fuck you Kim!

Caitlyn hangs up.

Tom Cruise: You're not a lyrical genius, you're wife's a Hobbit and you couldn't get one fucking joke!

Kanye: I am a lyrical genius, my wife is sexy and beautiful and that joke turned me into a gay fish.

Caitlyn: Kanye, he said he doesn't wanna be President.

Kanye: But I'm smarter Caitlyn! And I can tell the difference between a liar and an honest person. You're falling for his trick!

Caitlyn: Well I've had it! I'm sorry Kim.

Caitlyn gets her taser out and uses it on Kanye.

Tom Cruise: Has he stopped?

Caitlyn: Yes. Come on Tom Cruise.

Kanye wakes up.

Kanye: You tased me?!

Caitlyn: How the fuck did you stay down for that short amount of time?

Kanye: Because I'm invincible!

Caitlyn: Look West, can't you just leave Tom alone?

Kanye: Well he ain't going nowhere. That's it, I'm getting my piece out.

Kanye reaches in his pocket and grabs his gun.

Caitlyn and Tom held their hands up.

Kanye: Mmm hmm. That's right. Now I'm not going anywhere until Tom says he won't run for President.

Caitlyn: Jesus Christ. Where's Garrison when you need him?

Back in South Park.

The Losers were sleeping in their respected tents.

Cartman was sleeping in his own tent, Tweek and Craig were sharing one, Heidi and Kyle also shared a tent together and so did Token and Kenny.

Kenny got out of his tent to use the bathroom.

Kenny walked deep into the forest and heard voices.

Voices: He'll run too. He'll run too. He'll run too.

Kenny followed the sound and found Jimbo and Ned lying on a tree repeating the same words.

Kenny started to run until he came across Garrison.

Mr Garrison: Hiya Kenny.

Kenny screamed and tripped over a branch and fell backwards and tumbled down the hill and landing his head on a rock.

Leading his head to bleed and die of a head trauma.

Testaburger residence.

Wendy was sleeping on her bed with her arms wrapped around Stan.

Stan was still awake staring at Wendy and stroking her hair.

Stan: I promise nothing horrible will happen to me.

Suddenly Mr Garrison popped out of nowhere and grabbed Stan.

Mr Garrison: Missed me?!

Mr Garrison than threw Stan out of the window.

Wendy woke up screaming and started to punch at the air wildly.

Wendy: Let him go!

But accidentally hitting Stan in the process.

Stan: Ow!

Stan had a nose bleed.

Wendy realised what she did and hugged Stan.

Wendy (Crying): I'm sorry.

Stan wrapped her arms around her and started stroking her hair.

Stan: Wendy, it's ok. It's not your fault.

Stan wiped the blood from his nose and continued to hug Wendy.

Stan: Now come on get some sleep. I'll be here throughout the night, I promise. I will not leave you.

Wendy (Crying): How do you know? He might come for you.

Stan: He won't.

Wendy holds onto Stan tightly.

Stan and Wendy than fell asleep, still holding on to each other.

Morning.

The White House.

Kanye was trying to stay awake with the gun in his hand.

He took a sip of an energy drink.

Caitlyn woke up.

Caitlyn: You're still here?

Kanye: Yeah! If I'm holding an enemy hostage, it requires me to stay awake.

Tom Cruise: I am not running for The President! How many times do I have to tell you?

Kanye shoots Tom in the leg.

Tom screamed in pain.

Kanye: Looks like they'll have to delay Mission Impossible 7.

Caitlyn: This hostage situation gets worse and worse all the time.

Back in South Park.

The remaining Losers woke up to find Kenny dead.

Craig: Oh my God! The President killed Kenny.

Kyle: You bastard! You bastard!

Tweek: AAAAHHHH! This is too dangerous. First he causes Ike to go insane, than he causes Wendy to go insane and now he's killed Kenny. I can't do this anymore man!

Craig: Tweek calm down.

Craig gave Tweek a cup of Starbucks coffee.

Tweek took a sip.

Heidi: Come on the President couldn't have gone far. He might still be here.

Token: I think Kenny deserves a funeral.

About 30 minutes later, they buried Kenny.

Kyle: We will avenge you Kenny. We will avenge you.

The Losers continued their hunt for The President.

Town Hall.

The concerned residence were still in the Mayor's office complaining.

Steve (Token's Dad): Why isn't there any word from Jimbo and Ned?

Mayor McDaniels: We are trying to reach them, but they aren't responding.

Ryan (Jimmy's Dad): Maybe they're dead.

Marvin: Well if Bimbo's dead than he has bought shame upon his own step father.

Mrs Tweek starts crying.

Mrs Tweek: Oh my God! My poor baby.

Thomas (Craig's Dad): Mrs Tweek don't worry, my boy is with your boy, he'll keep him company.

Mayor McDaniels: Murphy, where's Yates?

Yates residence.

Yates was playing Fortnite.

Maggie (Yates' wife): Harrison Yates! Shouldn't you be looking for those 7 missing children?

Yates: Shut up Maggie. I'm gonna kill douchekiller17. Almost got you...Dammit!

Yates throws his controller to the floor.

The mayor's office.

Mayor McDaniels: Didn't any of you parents try calling them?

Gerald: We've tried but they kept going to voice mail.

Mitch: We're trying to send out our squadrons, but they'd rather get high on Tegridy weed.

Mayor McDaniels: Goddammit! Why did they make weed legal?

One of the mayor's aides burst in.

Aide: Sir! We've found the two South Park hunters.

Mayor McDaniels: Did they find the children?

Aide: No. They're going crazy, they keep repeating "He'll run too"

Mayor McDaniels: Who'll run?

Aide: I don't know.

Mayor McDaniels: Send them in.

The aides bring Jimbo and Ned into the office.

Jimbo and Ned: He'll run too. He'll run too. He'll run too. He'll run too.

The people in the office just looked on in terror.

Testaburger residence.

Wendy was still sleeping with Stan (A/N: Don't take it the wrong way)

Stan woke up and kissed her on the forehead.

Stan: Still asleep.

As Stan went back to sleep, he puts his hand on Wendy and realises there's something different about her hair.

It didn't feel like hair at all.

Stan woke up and realised Mr Garrison had taken her place and Mr Garrison had Freddy Krueger's claw.

Mr Garrison: How's this for a wet dream?

Mr Garrison stabs Stan.

Wendy wakes up screaming.

Wendy: Let go of me Garrison! Let go of me!

Stan: Wendy. Wendy. Wendy. Wendy. Calm down.

Wendy calmed down.

Wendy: Sorry Stan.

Stan: You ok?

Wendy: I feel better now.

Stan: You sure, because yesterday you were acting weird.

Wendy: Well I encountered Mr Garrison the night before and it traumatised me. So sorry if I was acting creepy yesterday.

Stan: It's ok.

Wendy: Stan, why did you stay with me? Why did you refuse Kyle's offer to look for the President?

Stan: Because you were acting traumatised and I wanted to be at your side to try and calm you down.

Wendy places her hand on his knee.

Wendy: You really have improved as a boyfriend.

Stan and Wendy hug each other.

Back in the forest.

The Losers were still patrolling the forest.

Cartman was groaning at Kyle and Heidi, who were holding hands.

Token: Why do you have a problem with Kyle being together with Heidi?

Cartman: Because I do you black asshole!

Token: Look, Cartman. You still like Heidi and you hate it that she's together with your worst enemy. But Heidi doesn't wanna be with you so that's why you're being rough around her.

Cartman started crying.

Cartman: Yes I still love Heidi! I...wish...that...we...could...stay...to...gether...a little...longer.

Cartman hugged Token.

Craig: Hey fat ass, once you're done crying we need to keep moving.

Heidi: So Eric still has feelings for me?

Kyle: He's still an asshole Heidi.

They continue walking.

Kyle: Heidi.

Heidi: Yes Kyle?

Kyle: If Cartman changes his attitude will you leave me for him?

Heidi: What? No?

Kyle: But would there be a chance?

Heidi: Kyle, there is no way I'm going back to Cartman. He fooled me with his nice attitude, but after what he made me there's no way I'm going back to him.

**(A/N: And that isn't ironic foreshadowing. I'm gonna get a lot of hate for this. Fuck Heiman)**

They continue walking until they come across the President eating a snickers.

Kyle: Mr President?

Mr Garrison looked at them.

Mr Garrison: Starving.

Mr Garrison continued to chow down on the snickers.

Kyle: Mr President, I know what you have seen but-

Mr Garrison: But what? Seeing Tom Cruise wanting to run for President and you're gonna tell me otherwise?

Heidi approached Mr Garrison.

Heidi: Mr President, I really need you to relax and listen to us.

Suddenly Mr Garrison grabbed Heidi.

Tweek: AAAAHHHH!

Token: Let her go!

Mr Garrison: Or what? You're gonna use these weapons to try and kill me? I'll let her go as long as you leave me alone.

Kyle: We want you to leave.

Mr Garrison: But I don't want Tom Cruise to run for President!

Cartman threw a rock at Mr Garrison.

As the rock hit Mr Garrison, he let's go of Heidi.

Heidi ran up to Kyle and hugged him.

Mr Garrison: So you just couldn't leave me alone? Well game on!

Tweek: AAAAHHHH!

Tweek threw the hand grenade!

Craig: Oh shit!

Kyle: Run!

Mr Garrison: Is it real?!

Token: Yes!

Mr Garrison: Oh jeez.

Mr Garrison and the Losers started to run away.

The grenade exploded and made a loud boom!

Mr Garrison and the Losers took cover to avoid the blast.

Town hall.

Mayor McDaniels: What the hell?

Testaburger residence.

Wendy: What's going on?

After the explosion happened, it destroyed the half of the forest.

Craig: It was just a hand grenade, right Tweek?

Tweek: I thought it was.

Mr Garrison: Boy that was intense. Now I have to go.

Kyle: Mr Garrison! Tom Cruise isn't running for President in 2020!

Mr Garrison: What?!

Craig: That's what we've been trying to tell you!

Mr Garrison: Than who wants to run for President?

Kyle: We don't know. The Tom Cruise in the video was just a lookalike!

Mr Garrison: So I went crazy for nothing?! Oh jeez! That's embarrassing.

Token: No shit!

The Mayor and the concerned citizens showed up to investigate the blast.

Gerald: Kyle! You're ok.

Kyle: Yeah Dad. I'm fine.

Heidi: Eric, thank you for saving my life.

Cartman: I did?

Heidi: Yeah. You payed back your debt.

Cartman: I unintentionally saved you. I only threw the rock because Mr Garrison was being a pain in the ass.

Heidi: Oh. But you still did save my life.

Cartman: I don't care Heidi.

Mr Garrison: Boy I feel really retarded into believing that Tom Cruise wants to run for President.

Mayor McDaniels: So that's why you went crazy?

Mr Garrison: Yeah. Because of a YouTube video of some Tom Cruise lookalike saying he wants to run for President. And I thought it was actually him and that lookalike was quite perfect to be honest.

Wendy: Oh. The man who runs. Now it makes sense.

Mr Garrison: Well I better get back to the White House, I wonder how Caitlyn's doing without me?

Back at the White House.

Kanye: Look Tom. We've been at it for a day now, why won't you tell me the truth?

Tom Cruise (Crying): I don't want to be President, how many times do I have to tell you?

Kanye: For fuck sake Tom! Stop lying!

Mr Garrison enters the Oval Office.

Mr Garrison: Hey Caitlyn. You'll- Oh for fuck sake Kanye again?

Kanye: Garrison will you leave us alone for a bit?

Mr Garrison: Kanye, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Kanye: You can't do that!

Mr Garrison: Security!

Caitlyn: Why didn't I think of that?

Security grabbed Kanye to throw him out.

Kanye: You can't do that! I'm a lyrical genius! You think you're safe Tom I'll be coming for you!

Mr Garrison: Well I guess everything's back to normal.

Caitlyn: Sir, Boris Johnson wanted to speak to you.

Mr Garrison: And what did you say to him?

Caitlyn: I said that Theresa May was a more competent Prime Minister.

Mr Garrison: Good one Caitlyn. Where's Tom?

Tom was hiding in the closet.

Mr Garrison: Tom get out of the closet now!

Tom Cruise: No! Because Kanye never gives up!

Mr Garrison: Come on! I can't do important business with you in the closet!

Tom Cruise: No!

Mr Garrison: Tom I'm gonna come in there on the count of three unless you leave!

Tom Cruise: I'll never leave!

Mr Garrison: Ok! 1...2...3!

Mr Garrison runs into the closet.

Mr Garrison: Hey it's actually nice in here.

Tom Cruise: I know right?

Mr Garrison: I might actually stay in here for a while. Caitlyn, I'm afraid you'll have to take over for me until I get board of being trapped in a closet.

Caitlyn: Oh for fuck sake.


End file.
